The universal life-lesson our butt pimples teach us

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In fifth grade I got my first butt pimple.

Which, by the way, isn’t actually acne. (Yes I’ve googled it). It’s folliculitis and everybody gets it so stop judging!

I noticed a big red spot getting out of the shower one day, right before the biggest slumber party of the summer. These slumber parties were known to get pretty rowdy, and in true Enneagram Type 3 fashion, I usually played the role of the rowdiest one.

But after seeing the pimple on my butt, I made a vow that no matter how rowdy things get, I will not put myself in a position for anybody to see my bare butt.

Can you guess what happened? Yep – I was put in a position for people to see my bare butt.

Truth or Dare and the Pimple on my Butt

Toward the end of the party we settled down for some good, ol’-fashioned truth or dare. This was my game. I never backed down from a dare and I never failed to produce some quality belly laughs.

“Truth or dare?” my friend asked me.

“Dare,” I stated, unflinching. I could feel the excitement in the room was building–I never disappoint.

My friend narrowed her eyes and gave a crooked smile before whispering in my ear, “I dare you to moon everyone in the room for at least ten seconds.

My veins were suddenly full of ice. I couldn’t do that. I have a butt pimple.

On any other night this would have been an easy dare, one I could run with and really let my bravery shine. But on this night, I had to decline it. I had to sacrifice my hard-earned reputation as the rowdiest of the rowdy to keep my stupid butt pimple a secret.

When I declined the dare there were audible gasps in the room. Literally. I felt like everyone was thinking, “Wow, that dare must be something insane because Jordin does everything.”

But nobody asked, and I didn’t tell.

That is, until the game ended. Just when I thought I was in the clear, my least favorite friend opened her big mouth and asked me what the dare was. Everyone wanted to know.

I still wouldn’t say and tried to play it off like it was just too ridiculous, even for me.

Then, right on cue, the girl who whispered in my ear spilled the beans. Thanks.

“I would have done that!” exclaimed several of the girls. One of them actually said out loud, “Maybe Jordin isn’t as brave as we thought she was.”

My heart sank.

“I guess so,” was all I could say through my turbulent emotions. I was fighting the urge to just moon them right then and there, butt pimple and all.

Even though showing everybody the pimple on my butt was a hard dare for me, there was no way to convey this without telling them about that stupid pimple. But exposing the pimple on my butt was more terrifying than temporarily losing my identity as the bravest, so I changed the subject and hoped everyone would eventually forget.

The Universal Life-Lesson

Okay everyone, here’s the kicker: butt pimples are a metaphor for the secrets or shame we are hiding in our lives.

Aha, tricky, right? But think about it…

You’ve got metaphorical butt pimples, I’ve got metaphorical butt pimples, we all have metaphorical butt pimples.

We’ve all got stuff that is too shameful to bring into the light, so we hide it. But hiding it doesn’t free us from it because all the stuff we hide still influences our actions. Sometimes it influences our actions more than the stuff we don’t hide. (Cue: integration).

So, the next time someone behaves in a weird way that you don’t understand, try not to judge them or take it personally. It is very likely they just have a butt pimple they are trying to hide.

And just because you would do something differently, even better, than someone else in a given situation, it probably just means they have a butt pimple in an area you don’t. Maybe you put some cream on that butt pimple a while ago and now it is healed.

But remember you still have butt pimples in other areas, and you’d want people to give you the benefit of the doubt in the area you have butt pimples, right? Do the same for others.

Anyway, this metaphor is getting away from me. The bottom line is:

Be kind to those you meet because they might have a butt pimple you don’t know about.

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