A word for all you small titty women

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Friggin’ boobs, man.

Some people have them, some people don’t.

I’m a person who don’t.

I mean, I’m a woman, so I do have two clumps of fat cells on my chest with nipples and stuff. But thing is…they are really small. So I don’t feel like they count as boobs. At least, not in the way my western society talks about boobs.

As enlightened as I pretend to be, my small boobs still make me feel insecure. So much so, that I dropped $132 on breast enhancement pills and cream last October. 132 dollars. That’s like 33 lattes or 4 tanks of gas. All for the slight chance my boobs would get a tiny bit bigger.

Immediately after I hit the “buy” button, I knew I’d gone too far. My insecurity was running my life (as well as my finances), and it was time to get serious about letting it go for good.

One day I’ll join the ranks of women who’ve embraced their small boobs. But in the meantime, I want to shout out to all my struggling small titty women and let you know what I’m doing to resolve my deep insecurity.

I hope you’ll let me know what path you’re walking, too, so we can help each other come into our full power, small boobs and all.

First of all, I see you ladies, small boobs suck.

Boobs play such a big part in our westernized culture. They are a status symbol for femininity and seductiveness and womanhood and worth.

According to this article, 34DD was the average American breast size in 2013. The average. A far cry from my measly 34B, and from the 32A I was all through high school and college.

How is it possible to feel like I fit in with a society that has statistics like these?

I first felt like an outcast when I watched the girls in my school whose boobs grew the fastest get the most attention. It didn’t help things when the first man in my life (my father) commonly referred to my breasts as “mosquito bites,” even through high school. Maybe I just had a weird dad, but still, the message was loud and clear, “small boobs are not nearly as desirable as big boobs.”

My insecurity runs so deep that I’ve actually apologized to every man I’ve been with for my small boobs. As if to say, “I’m grateful you even gave me and my small boobs a chance, but if you would rather have someone with bigger boobs, I’d understand.”

Pathetic, no? But this has been my reality.

But before I go too far with my small-boobed self-pity, I want to acknowledge that you women with large breasts also have problems of your own, like back pain and unwanted attention among other things.

But deep down I still envy you, because at least you belong. If only in the boob department, you are clearly “enough.” Us small titty women don’t get that luxury. I see the way society idealizes you (whether it’s wrong or right) and can’t help but feel like my small boobs are a genetic defect.

I mean, what are the benefits of having small boobs? They won’t sag as much when I’m old? Cool…I guess? By that time the rest of my body has probably gone to shit anyway so that doesn’t seem like a huge benefit.

We can jump rope without them hitting us in the face every time we touch the ground? Well, I guess you got me there…that does come in handy quite often.

Anyway, all of us small and big and medium boobed women are all on the same path together, learning how to love our bodies no matter what. If my boobs got bigger, I’d just be trading my small boob problems for big boob problems. Having never experienced big boob problems, it’s easy for me to think the grass is greener on the other side. But maybe it isn’t.

Even though I shouldn’t apologize for my natural body or feel less than because my boobs are much smaller than the national average, I do.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

So how am I reclaiming my self-worth? Well, I’ll tell you.

Who are we trying to belong to?

Have you noticed my small boob insecurity completely revolves around how our society finds bigger boobs more desirable? Fully belonging to my society is impossible with small boobs.

What’s the cure, here, then? To spend thousands of dollars on a risky boob job?

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?

This seems to work for some women, but I’m not convinced it would for me. I mean, sure, it would work in the sense that I’d have bigger boobs, but deep down would I really feel like I belonged? No amount of surgery can make me forget who I really am.

What’s the next option we can turn to, then? Start a revolt against society and bully all the “boob guys” until they change their mind? Tempting, but not feasible.

How about adopting an “FU” attitude and stop caring what other people think? I’ve written about this before. The short-term gains may seem beneficial in this model, but in the long term, we’d end up closing ourselves off to the ecstatic feeling of being truly desired.

How about focusing on belonging to ourselves? Not in a “fuck society” way, but in a “I hold all my own power no matter what” sort of way. Sounds hard, but I think this is the ticket.

Because only we control how we feel about ourselves.

Men and women who prefer bigger boobs don’t need to change. Society doesn’t need to change. The problem isn’t external. It’s internal.

I’m not saying that our external culture helps the internal battle, but nothing external needs to change in order for us to feel less insecure about our small boobs. All we need to do is to belong so fully to ourselves that we love our body no matter what [see: My body is big but I am BIGGER (and so are you!)].

Easy, right?

HA!

But this is the journey I am on, and this is the journey I hope to see you on, too.

Only we control how we feel about ourselves. Click To Tweet

We aren’t starting from scratch.

Lucky for us, there are so many women out there blazing a trail for us, teaching us how to fully belong to ourselves and how to live in our full power. In my own life, there are two badass women I’ve been most inspired by – Brené Brown and Bez Stone.

Brené has written several amazing books, but her latest one, Braving the Wilderness, hits hard on belonging to yourself. Highly recommend a read.

Bez is an amazing sex coach who focuses on women’s sexual fulfillment. Even just following her on Facebook and joining her free email newsletter has repeatedly blown my mind. Repeatedly. She’s perhaps taught me the most about what it truly looks like to love my body no matter what.

Who are your badass chicks blazing the trail to loving yourself? Shoot me an email or let me know in the comments! I’m always looking for another thought leader to learn from.

If you don’t have any badass chicks blazing the trail to loving yourself, I highly encourage you to find some. You can start by adopting mine =]

Only we have control over how we feel about ourselves.

If my goal is to belong to society, my small boobs totally suck.

But when I shift my focus to belonging to myself, to taking back complete control of how I feel about my own self, I get a glimpse of what it’s like to enjoy my body just the way it is. Seriously. It sounds weird and almost mystical but loving my body no matter what, small boobs and all, is possible. I’ve just got to keep walking along this path of internal healing.

At the risk of sounding super corny…walk with me?

Cover Photo by Dayne Topkin.

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