Photo by Alexey Ruban.
I know, weird title, right?
It’s fitting, though. Because this is the first post where I really let my freak flag fly. Hope you like it!
I’m one of those people who get like, visions and stuff. Call it supernatural, an overactive imagination, or leading with the introverted intuition cognitive function, but it happens.
It’s like seeing a movie in my head, sometimes even when my eyes are wide open. And it’s not like I’m just daydreaming or fantasizing—I legit have no idea how the vision will end, or where it’s even going sometimes.
The vision I’m going to extend to you today is no different.
If you can stick with me, you’re in for a treat. Because even though I am always confused about how these visions will end, they always resolve into powerful messages. This one was so powerful and universal that I just had to share it with you, even if you’ll judge me for it. ;]
As you read, I invite you to put yourself in my shoes, see through my eyes, and experience what I experienced. I hope by extending this vision to you, it will also touch your life in a positive way.
Uh-oh…I feel a vision coming on
Since 2008, I’ve written periodic journal entries on my computer. One of my favorite things to do in January is look back on what I wrote this time last year to see how much has changed.
This year I loved it so much I decided to go back through all my journal entries from last year in chronological order so I could really see the process I went through.
I was only a few entries in when I felt a vision coming on. It’s like this unexplainable urge in my soul that makes it hard to focus.
I was feeling a little frustrated with this incoming vision because I really wanted to read through the rest of my journal entries. But the feeling was incessant. So I let out a dramatic sigh and closed my laptop along with my eyes.
Instantly the vision began.
Hi everyone, meet Vishiti
In my mind’s eye, I arrived at a lush jungle clearing. I knew where I was because it’s a place in my mind I’ve gone to before.
You know how some people cultivate memory palaces? Well that’s sort of like what this place is for me. It’s full of waterfalls and chirping birds and is all peaceful and stuff.
If I haven’t lost you yet, what I’m about to say next might just do it.
I go to this peaceful jungle in my mind to meet up with the wisest part of myself. Or the collective unconscious. Or whatever you want to call it. In my imagination, this wisdom shows up as this badass chick with four arms and blue skin named Vishiti.
When I came to the jungle clearing, Vishiti was beckoning me to join her around a fire. When I sat down, she handed me a bowl of stew and said “Drink up.”
Then she kissed my forehead, placed a finger on each of my temples with two of her hands, and squeezed my upper arms with her other two hands. (Wouldn’t it be so awesome to have four arms??)
I closed my eyes and started seeing another vision. Juuust like Inception. A vision within a vision.
In real life, I was just sitting on my couch in a trance. In the first layer of my vision, I was sitting by the fire with Vishiti’s hands on my temples. And in the second layer of my vision, all I could see was the bottom of the jungle floor.
Drink the stew of your former snake self
I was moving quickly and fluidly along the dirt beneath me. Blades of grass rose up like trees around me. A light wind rustled the vegetation and my nostrils were full of the musk smell of damp soil. This skinny tongue-like thing kept jetting out in front of me, only to be pulled back in.
And then I realized….OMG. I’m a snake.
I felt like Harry Potter in The Order of the Phoenix where he sees through the eyes of Nagini as the snake attacks Mr. Weasly.
Except in my vision, I was the one getting attacked.
As I rounded a corner, a giant spider jumped out and bit me. I wrestled with it until I finally broke free, albeit wounded.
Then I was attacked again by a big black jaguar. This one was harder to fight off, but I managed to get away from this one too.
But after that tussle, I felt wounded and sluggish. Each inch I traveled away from the attackers was draining.
As I slithered away, I realized the spider that attacked me was Grandmother Spider, a major character in various southwestern Native American folklore tales. In these tales, its Grandmother Spider who brings the sun to the dark side of the earth. She is the creator and helper of humans, and she’s supremely wise.
Then I remembered what Jaguar symbolizes – wisdom, truth, and power. All good things!
So if Grandmother Spider and Jaguar were the good guys, why were they attacking me?
Then it hit me: because my true self was trapped inside this snake. This snake represented my entire ego structure; all my defense mechanisms and false beliefs that keep me blinded in life.
The goodness, power, and wisdom of Grandmother Spider and Jaguar weren’t attacking me, per se, they were attacking the shell of my ego which kept my true self contained.
Now that I saw my ego shell for what it was, I really did not want to be inside this snake any longer. But I knew there was only one way to get out of this shell – the snake had to die.
I slithered my way up to the tallest branch of the tallest tree, glided all the way out to the end, and fell off.
I hit the ground with a huge THUMP and died instantly.
But my vision within my vision didn’t stop there. My perspective just changed to outside the snake, so I could see it lying there dead in the middle of the path.
Then Vishiti came plodding along at the precise right timing, as if she knew exactly when this snake was going to die and when she needed to pick it up.
I followed Vishiti within this vision, and watched as she chopped up the snake up and threw it into a pot to make stew.
Then I could feel her letting go of my temples and arms. I came back into the first layer of my vision to see her by the fire.
“Drink up!” she said, pointing to the bowl of stew in my hands.
It was the stew of my former snake self.
Immediately I knew the purpose of this vision. The places we’ve been and the ego structures we’ve shed are like nourishment for who we are yet to become. The snake stew was like fertilizer for my true self to continue to grow. And it was also like a vaccine to prevent me from infection.
What a badass vision, amirite??
I mean, gross, but also badass.
With each new journal entry I read that morning, instead of feeling ashamed for how stupid I was a year ago, I took a metaphorical sip of this snake stew. When I got through them all, I felt the past year’s inner healing solidify, and felt nourished enough to face what this year has in store.
What this means for you
You’ve also made some inner changes over the past year. You’re metaphorical snake self has died, and you have become a fuller person, even if only a little. Drinking the stew of your former snake self means honoring the process you went through to get to where you are now.
It’s so easy to look back on who we used to be with contempt, cringing at our stupidity. But instead of tightening up as you reflect on your past choices, stay open and drink each moment in. It is nourishment for who you are yet to become.
Instead of shoving those memories out of your mind, bring them to your consciousness and honor them with compassion. They are fertilizer for you to grow into your fullest self.
Trust that the good forces of the universe, like what Grandmother Spider and Jaguar represent for me, have guided you to the place you are today and will continue to guide you into higher levels of happiness.
Your call to action is to solidify your inner healing by drinking the stew of your former snake self. You could do something metaphorical like meditate on it or something more concrete like read through old journal entries or take some honest time to reflect on how much more of your true self you’ve become.
As you honor your process and take in how far you’ve come, your inner healing will forever solidify. You’ll never go back. This is the magic of drinking the stew of your former snake self.
If you haven’t changed as much as you hoped, I created a free healing guide to get you started. It will teach you how to identify your first great sadness and then how to let it go. This release is likely to trigger more healing releases, so be prepared for some serious change!
All you’ve got to do is punch in your email to the form below and the free guide will be sent right to your inbox.
How to Identify and Heal Your First Great Sadness
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